aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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