VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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