Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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