hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
