There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
