I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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