She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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