She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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