So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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