remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
