you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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