9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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