we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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