I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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