just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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