You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
