we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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