need another drink. this is the easiest way
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
