so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
