Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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