We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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