Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
