i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize