I heard we made out
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
