i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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