Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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