Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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