I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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