my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
