people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
