i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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