Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
