I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize