Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize