Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
