My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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