There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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