Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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