dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Randomize
