My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
