He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize