I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
