i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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