you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
