rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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