i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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