Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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