I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
