did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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