You made me cry and you don't even care
Soap is not a condiment
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize