So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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