just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
