Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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