Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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