She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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