are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
