So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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