dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
