I think i peed on brittanys purse
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize