Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
